My brother's Chinese Betrothal Ceremony

A quest to send Chinese wedding gifts, dowry all the way to Sungai Lembing, Kuantan, Pahang.

Chinese Betrothal Ceremony (过大礼) is one of the Chinese wedding customs held prior to the actual Chinese Wedding day.

Let me share with you my brother's betrothal ceremony.

Earlier, as you might recall that my parents had visited their future-in-laws and ask for their daughter's hand in marriage. When they met, they have discussed in details of the items for the coming Betrothal Ceremony.

Nicely decorated Bakul Siah and
Chinese Betrothal Ceremony Gifts

Now, it is my uncle's and auntie's quest to deliver the betrothal gifts to the bride parent's house in Sungai Lembing, Pahang.

According to the Chinese customs, the groom's parents are prohibited from attending the ceremony and should be represented by another senior couple among the family members.

The Chinese Betrothal Ceremony is normally held up to a month and at least three days before the wedding day. I, as the elder sister got to tag along and share with you the exclusive story!

We depart from Malacca around 9.30 in the morning of 14th May 2011 with all the betrothal gifts arranged nicely in the car.

All the gifts are either arranged nicely in a multi tier basket called "Bakul Siah" or wrapped nicely with ribbons. This wedding basket (for the Baba Nyonya Community) is an important item in carrying and storing items or goods during auspicious events and rituals; in this case marriage rituals and ceremony.

The journey is quite a long one and it takes up to six hours before we reach the destination, Sungai Lembing in Pahang.

Yup, you could imagine that the journey is quite tiring and I do wonder how am I going to make the same journey again with my daughter and ten month-old baby boy for the wedding banquet in Sungai Lembing.

Once we are there, we check in the Country View Inn with all the belongings and the betrothal gifts. Then, we are invited to my sister-in-law parent's house for dinner. It is some sorts of ice-breaking for both party and discussing some final arrangement for tomorrow ceremony.

some of the wedding dowry

For those not familiar with Chinese customs, the Chinese Betrothal Ceremony is normally held in the morning.

At the pre-agreed time, 8.00a.m in the morning, we arrived at my sister-in-laws house with the betrothal gifts. We could see the roasted pig outside the house (this is one of the main betrothal gifts).

Emm, the roasted pig is ordered from a local neighbour in Sungai Lembing for this purpose. The pig is prepared and roasted in traditional way using fire wood in a brick oven.

Yummy, it looks nice, crunchy and so tasty......

We greeted the host and passed them all the gifts, including the roated pig. Then, we are invited to have a seat while they start to arrange the altar table for prayers.

First, the altar was set up to pray the God along with some of the betrothal gifts. Then, my sister in-law's parents burn incest for the God followed by my brother and his wife. When it was done, another altar table is set up inside the house for the house deities and later on for the ancestral.

Operating the roasted pig
(Important Item in Chinese Betrothal Ceremony)

Since my brother will be fetching his wife from a rented homestay in Malacca during the weeding day, therefore; one pair of the Dragon and Phoenix Candles which are among the gifts offered to the family ancestral today. (Normally, the candles are offered during the wedding day)

Then, it's time to dismantle the roasted pig. According to our customs (Malaccan and Baba Nyonya Community), we prefer to have the returned roasted pig intact, which means only the side flesh of the roasted pork are cut off leaving the backbone intact.

Unfortunately, this request is very rare for those living in Pahang and the pork seller is scratching his head, not knowing how to do it. Normally, he will just cut off the roasted pig's head with the front legs and back portion along with the back legs as the return gifts for the groom.

Luckily my uncle (a chef) step in and save the day. Though, he might not have the proper knives (sharp stainless steels thin knife), but he managed to performed the "autopsy" successfully.

We, the bystander keep on swallowing our saliva as my uncle confirming that the roasted pig is definitely very crunchy and praised the pork seller (kneeling beside him chopping the pork in smaller portion) for his "Kung Fu" (culinary expect) while performing the "autopsy".

My brother, Darren, can't wait to have his hands on the tasty pork meat. I heard he whispered to his wife mentioning he wants to have one piece of the tasty and crunchy meat.

Wrapped roasted pig with
"treasure" in the stomach

Then, inside the pig's stomach, oranges and one pair of long trousers was inserted and the roasted pig is wrapped up with a red paper as the return gift for the groom. Earlier, a red envelop, put in front of the pig's mouth is meant for the person who dismantled the roosted pig. For this case, two red envelops packets are prepared, one for the pork seller and another one for my uncle.

It is around lunch time and we are invited to have lunch before we head back to Malacca with all the return gifts and bride's dowry.

Yup, we brought the wrapped roasted pig all the way back to Malacca!

Later in Malacca, the roasted pig was cut into smaller portions and distributed to close family members and relatives along with the wedding biscuits.

That's how the Chinese Betrothal Ceremony of my brother is done.

Note: My sister-in-law, Fanny and her parents will distribute the wedding biscuits along with the wedding banquet invitation cards to her relatives and friends after the ceremony as an act of informing them of the upcoming wedding.

More informations of Chinese Betrothal Ceremony

It is a Chinese custom or tradition to return or exchange some of the betrothal gifts as an act of courtesy. The return gifts are given in even numbers.